IS ONLINE FLIRTING SINFUL?

 

Prologue: The Glow of the Screen

It begins softly.

A screen lights up in the dark.

A message appears—playful, suggestive, “harmless.”

No doors are broken.

No vows spoken aloud.

No bodies touch.

And yet—something sacred is crossed.

The soul leans forward before the body ever moves.

The heart wanders before the feet do.

What once belonged wholly to God—or to a spouse—is quietly lent away in words and glances made of light.

The screen becomes a window.

The window becomes a door.

And the door opens inward.

Sin does not need a bed to be real.

It needs only a will that consents.

The platform is new.

The temptation is old.

The battle remains the same.

He who guards his heart will guard his house.

THE QUESTION: IS ONLINE FLIRTING SINFUL?

Yes; always, when it involves lust or romantic/sexual pursuit outside rightful bounds.

Online flirting is not morally neutral because it is an act of the will, not merely typed words. It ordinarily involves:

• Voluntary stimulation of lust
• Disordered emotional attachment
• Deliberate exposure to near occasions of sin
• Interior consent to impurity

Our Lord condemns not only the outward act, but the interior consent:

“Whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart.”— Matthew 5:28

Sin begins in the will, not in the body. The keyboard does not excuse the conscience.

FOR MARRIED PERSONS: IS IT ADULTERY?

Yes—adultery in species, though not in its completed bodily act.

Traditional moral theology distinguishes:

• External adultery (the physical act)
• Internal adultery (deliberate lust and affective infidelity)

Online flirting by a married person constitutes:

• Interior adultery
• Emotional adultery
• Virtual adultery in desire

It violates:

• The Sixth Commandment (purity of act)
• The Ninth Commandment (purity of desire)
• The marriage bond
• The spouse’s exclusive right to affection and intimacy

Even without physical contact, the sin is real because the will consents.

Marriage binds not only bodies, but hearts and desires.

FOR SINGLE PERSONS: IS IT FORNICATION?

Not technically fornication, since fornication requires physical intercourse outside marriage.

However, it is still:

• Grave sin of lust
• Impurity
• A proximate occasion of mortal sin
• Willful consent to disordered sexual desire

Thus it is properly classified as:

• Grave sin against chastity

Traditional manuals name it:

• Luxuria (lust)
• Impudicitia (impurity)
• Occasio proxima peccati (near occasion of sin)

The absence of bodily contact does not excuse interior corruption.

CONFESSION: HOW TO CONFESS IT PROPERLY

For a married person:

• Confess simply, without explanations or narratives:

“I committed adultery of the heart by engaging in lustful online conversations.”

“I engaged in impure online flirting as a married person.”

If explicit:

“I engaged in lustful and explicit online communication outside my marriage.”

For a single person:

“I committed sins of impurity through lustful online conversations.”

“I consented to lust through online flirting and impure messaging.”

TRADITIONAL CONFESSION REQUIREMENTS

You must confess:

• Species (type of sin)
• Number (approximately)
• State of life (married or single, when it changes the nature of the sin)

Because:

• Married lust = adultery in desire
• Single lust = impurity / unchastity

They are distinct moral species.

MORAL PRINCIPLE (TRADITIONAL THEOLOGY)

The will sins before the body acts

Desire is morally culpable

Consent constitutes the sin

Action merely completes it

Online flirting is not “harmless.”

It is virtual infidelity, digital impurity, and interior decay of the soul.

The medium is modern.

The sin is ancient.

The devil only changed the platform.

“What the eye consents to, the soul commits.”

Think on it!